Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Being a Parent Changes Your Thoughts...

So. Your perspective on the world changes. However, my perspective on the world changes in waves.... God has sent me through quite a few lessons - but in the end, he's never let me down.  I wouldn't change anything about the path I have taken or the life I live now.

All these things do change what my memories mean to me and what I will have to be sure my child knows about what my life was like and what my parents were like.  I AM who they were.  My child will be who we are.

In all this I spend more time remembering my past, and the life that is left behind by the passing of my father last year. I have started a new quest for determining who I am without him and without the life we had together.  This is one path I haven't quite reached an understanding yet... there are still things in my life and things that Ryan and I will do that I know he would have wanted to front and center for.

SO.. the sadness is... there's this song that touches this spot in my soul that I am learning to reach and connect with, both in grieving the loss of my past and in building a future with my new family.

If you cry... too bad... =>

2 comments:

  1. This song does the same to me, as my life in Palestine with my dad and the divorce made me who I am...

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  2. awww so sad. You still have us, I know it's not the same as having your Dad but I know that Flip misses your dad as much as you do, they were best friends & they hung out atleast once a week if not more. He was so happy to help us build our house, he was here every weekend giving suggestions & he even drew plans on our floor which was very hard to cover up. You are always welcome in our home. Flipper loves you alot, he's like you though & doesnt email or call people but I know he needs you too and we cant wait to see you and Ryan @ the baby shower. Love Denise

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