Friday, April 29, 2011

Friday Fill-Ins

1.   I am looking forward to   Callen learning to talk so he can run up to me and say, "Mama!"

2.  Something kind of embarassing that I still love anyway is  My woobie. Quit my mom made for when i was born. It's almost 30 yrs old and I take it everywhere I go and i wrap it around my neck when I sleep. 

3.  My favorite car is    Jeep Commander, Green.
I have this. It's too small.
I know. They look the similar. 

4.  If I could pick one type of weather to live with for the rest of my life it would be   Fall. Cool Breeze. Sunshine. Sweaters. Boots. Candy Apples. Pumpkin Coffee. Yum.

5.  My favorite thing to do after a bad/stressful day is    Take a nap. A skill I aquired after having a baby.

6.  This weekend    I am having a BBQ & Bohemia Birthday Bash for Ryan's friend Lance & My friend Tiffany.  

7.  If I were a color, I'd be      red    because,    its sassy and loud.

What are your plans for this weekend? 

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Thirsty Thursday & Good Morning Randomness

Tasty Tuesday   {What's WRONG with me? I posted this first}


I have discovered new flavor {love} at Sonic.  Well, I didn't have this fabulous idea myself.  My mouth watered as I heard Julie {at} Joy's Hope talking about it.  Everyone should know that she's the FIRST BLOG I EVER READ.  Special big puffy {heat} for her.

What is this flavor?!? Are you wriggling with anticipation?

Borrowed from HERE
It's a Diet {yes} Strawberry Cranberry Limeaide. Joy gets a slush, but they give me brain freeze.

Some randomness.

I am a total Big Ole' Gleek. I am counting down the days for when Brittani and I make a trip to Indiana to see them on tour.  She's coming from Clovis, NM to Wichita Falls, Tx {to get me and drop off some work} then we are headed out! Why, when gas is $500/gal, you ask? Because we are THAT dedicated. Really, we planned this before gas prices went TOTALLY ridiculous. We are committed to it now, not that I would EVER back out!!   SO excited that I bought us prezzies for the show. I bought her THIS and me THIS.  I can't put actual pictures because she doesn't know that it is... and well... although I am crap at keeping surprises, I'm trying SO hard.
Serious Glee Thoughts. I just watched last weeks Glee. {Thank my Goodness for DVR when you have a baby}. I was uplifted to see some serious topics covered {the beginning of this season was a little shaky for me in the 'subject matter" area}.  I felt a little less crazy and alone in my own postpartum issues. Thank you Glee for making me feel not alone in this universe.

On that note,
Here's a little Glee Eye Candy.
No to overshadow Hottie Hubs, of course.

Another random.
When you are sitting at a red light and another car goes shooting through... Do you ever have a second where you question what Red means and what Green means and what color you are ACTUALLY looking at? Like maybe you are the one who's not doing the right thing?
Maybe I just needed some coffee on the drive to work?

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

William & Kate...

So... Am I the only one who isn't utterly and completely obsessed with this Royal Wedding? I love to see a big expensive wedding and all, but come one... I need my morning news... and the wedding doesn't pertain to me.


I did find myself thinking.... In 100 yrs... Will there be a new Furniture Style or Era of Interior Design added to  the textbooks? Will it be named the William & Katherine Style? Whatwill it be like? Will it be modern? English Traditional? Is it weird that I keep saying "Will" about the William and Katherine style?

You see where my curiosities lie...  I hear this guy is doing their Interior Design.  That stuff is WAY out of my comfort zone.

Although, I am interested to see her dress and her hats. Fo sho...
I would just DIE if it looked like this...
Thx Google image search.

Tell me YOUR thoughts.

AFTER THOUGHT: Is it Katherine or Catherine?... See how much I know, or care?

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Callen's Craptastic First Easter

It's Tuesday.  I've moved past the trauma that was the First Easter Weekend.  I'm sure that the others who shared the weekend with me don't feel the same way, but I'm me... and I was stressed and tired when I got home.

Let's just remember that Callen is just like me - with the anxiety and the change problems.  It's ok, I can deal with it.  Other people may not understand it, and think something is wrong with him.  This is not the case.

Ryan and I got all packed up for the trip to Marlin.Tx, where Ryan's grandparents live, and where the holidays are held as much as possible.   Also known as "Cell & Internet Vortex, Tx."  Not that I would have had time to blog, email, facebook or anything technological IF my phone or computer had been working correctly.

Here's the trip.  See where I marked our stops for potty breaks, diaper changes, gas, or food.
Left WFalls @ 2p - Got to Marlin @ 730p
Ok, here's an recap of the weekend.
{Family Disclaimer: This is my blog. My mind. My thoughts. If I could not speak here, I might lose my mind. No feelings are intended to be hurt. As I am sure you would say the same. If you are scared to read further, then stop here.}

Fabulous Easter Party at Kellie's - Callen.  Friday Lunch Date - Mama & Daddy.  Pick up Callen.  Change Diaper.  Get on the road.  Callen meltdown.  Surely he'll pipe down and sleep.  Nope.

{In the back of my head, I could see this weekend unfold the way it did, but I thought to myself, "Don't be a negative nancy, have faith it will be great." The back of my head was not lying.

Many potty breaks.  The child who doesn't poo decided today was the day.  Gas breaks.  Gas is $500/gal here.  Not really, but might as well.  Fight over which GPS to use - Garmin or SmartPhone. What a problem to have when many countries don't have water.  I hear Clovis, NM is headed that way.  {"Poke" for Brittani} Callen eat dinner, by spoon, in the car, after emergency stop in Meridian, Tx, at the world's oldest Brookshire's, for prunes.

No real naps.  No real meals.  Since before 2p.  It's 730p.  We walk in the door to Gr-Gma's, Callen has an F5 meltdown.  Over what you ask?  Need to poop.  Who are these people?  Where am I?  Where's my quiet time?  What happened to dinner time with Mama?  What are these smells?  {Small house, lots of people} We usually go to a quiet room and take a break with these F5's.  Didn't happen.  Everyone wants to fix a crying baby.  Ryan & I know how to fix our crying baby.  He is not an easy going baby.   He is sensitive to routine changes.  He does not do well with abrupt transitions.  I feel invisible.
Unload 80% of personal belongings into small house.  Have a team of 4 to "easy pop up" the PnP.  Tucker was a great help, by the way.  His cute little self gives me hope for the future in having a son...Could have done it alone, however.  Starving.  Ryan eats while I do stuff.  WTF?!?  Something about being with Gma, Mom, Aunts, & Cousins brings out the little boy in grown men.
Still no naps for Callen.  The time between here and when Sat morning starts is a blur.  Callen woke up every 2hrs +/-.

{Let's take a break from the reading}

Just hangin' out with the Peeps, Keepin' Austin Weird.
Shirt from Aunt T.K.
Wakeup Sat.
Need Coffee.  Need shower {hadn't showered since Thursday morning.  Don't judge.  I have a baby.}  Need to feed child.  People everywhere.  No room to breathe.  There's talk of going places as a family this day.  No times discussed.  Have I mentioned that I don't "go with the flow" well, especially when I'm out of my environment and routine?  The rest of the morning is also a blur as I try to caffeinate myself, take care of my child, and be "one" with the family.

Next thing I know, it's time to leave.  What?  Where?  Now?  Do I have time to get ready, or right now, now?   NOW.
Have I brushed my teeth?  No. Have I finished my coffee?  No.  Not showered, thats for sure.  Callen has not napped.  Callen has not eaten.  He is refusing to eat a full meal or bottle, out of stress I'm sure.  I tell Ryan that I feel invisible, that I don't feel like he is protecting our needs.  Isn't it ok to be selfish, when you have a child to think of?  I know this statement must be a blow to his "Daddyhood" but, I must speak my mind.  I told him that it might just be best if Callen & I stay behind.  Nope.  Must be "one" with the family.  Ok.  I tell him, "We will pay for this later."  And we did.  Siren sounded for the F5 Meltdown.
Visit some family next town over.  Callen has not napped.  Callen has not eaten.  Head back to Gr-Gma's. Talks of dinner preparation and Easter lunch for the next day.  I'm pretty sure, for each holiday, I ask what I can bring, what I can make.  Each time, the answer is 'nothing'.  But every time, I am the only one who hasn't brought something, isn't cooking anything, or isn't doing anything to help.  I feel invisible.  First reason {read on for #2} why I feel like a crappy wife/mom.

A true southern girl doesn't show up empty handed, and always offers to help - so I feel like my southern sensibilities are being questioned.  Let's not forget that a true southern lady can get bat-ass crazy, when needed, also {keep reading}.  I read this somewhere "To be a southern lady is to carry even your misfortune with style and grace."  Amen Ouiser.  {side note:  I've been spelling this Weeza. What a goob.} 
The rest of this night is also a blur.  All the way to 10 o'clock, when my son finally went to sleep.  Good thing I brought my Bella's Blush from the Wichita Falls Winery. {shamless plug?} 

{Let's take another break from the reading}

Having some Toes for Snack.

Sunday. Easter.
Now this day - NOT a blur.  Callen slept - thank GOODNESS.  Wake up.  Need coffee.  Need shower {yes, still.} Making coffee.  What do I hear?  Is that Easter basket un-wrapping going on?   YES!  Are Ryan or I in there?   NO!   This is MY child, right?  I thought so. 
Second reason I feel like a crappy wife/mother:  There's no Easter basket from me.  Ryan told me not to get one, because he was too young to know. I agreed. I regret it. 
I can't just be mad at them for us not having good First Easter, because I feel awful for not having stuff for him, also.  But, they could have waited.  I didn't even get a chance to put on his Easter shirt or get my camera out before they started in with the festivities.  I have no pictures of Ryan, Callen & I on our first Easter together, lookin' all cute and family like. 

Emotional Recap:
Tired. Overwhelmed. Out of place. Invisible. Vulnerable.

Verbal Beating:
I am tired of being his "nice quiet wife."  I am nice. I am not quiet.  I voice my opinion.  If he couldn't protect us when we were vulnerable, and risk the upset with the other women in his life, I was gonna have go all Steel Magnolias on someone.
He loves me for it. Callen with thank me for it.
We should have had a plan.  We should have kept to his routine.  Our child.  Our way.  First Holidays will be at my house or with us first.  To avoid me having to go bat-ass crazy and hurting feelings. 

I apologized to Ryan for being so harsh with him, but that I still felt disrespected as the Mama and invisible in the family. 

Maybe I like my own family more than I thought? Maybe I should learn to talk to Ryan's family about our need better? Without worrying if I will come across selfish and bitchy? {My Daddy called it 'sassy.'   Let's go with that} I plan on recreating the event this weekend, and having my own fun. 

Hope I don't get hate mail from this......

PS - My counselor says that these are perfectly normal new Mama thoughts. So there.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Need I Say More...


Check out her nail polish... I wish I were so daring...

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Saved from the Mess

Whew... that was a close one! Those sticky notes almost consumed my desk like Kudzu!

I super. big. puffy. {heart} Evernote. I see this super cute elefante {thats Spanish, just in case you don't live in Texas and are required to know some to get on each day} on all my devices. I even made hottie hubs download it too. So I can share with him my 'baby do's." No, thats not code word for poopy diapers. It the list of things he needs to do to keep me happy. 

I do also like this little elefante. He's well known around my house. He gets packed up to go to Kellie's each morning. 

Well, as promised, Breann shared some of her techy smarts today. Would you like to make your digital existence A Little Less Complicated?

Please Excuse Me...

Things are looking a little crazy around here.
Please do read on to other posts, but don't judge the mess.  It's hard to do blog things at work sometimes. I've gone button crazy.. Good news for those of you whose buttons are down at the bottom.. you make have a few of them..

Monday, April 18, 2011

Attack of the Sticky Notes

So, sometimes my brain gets into a traffic jam. Many lanes. Numerous thoughts in each lane.  Never on just one highway.
When taffic picks up, I'm not always near paper and pen to keep up with it all.

This picture of my desk is what happens:

Sometimes I have blog ideas, shopping lists, 'Google It' lists, work task lists, 'Call this person' lists... you name it, I list it.  Have I mentioned that I am a list addict?

Breann {Parrot Head} uses Evernote. I decided to be a copy cat and download it. I am going to learn to use it and then have a traffic free brain.
By the way - Breann has plans to post about all her techy saavy and how it makes blogging {and her life} easier... Stay tuned... I will let you know when she does.

Until we chat again...

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Friday Fill-In's on Saturday

I'm  SURE everyone went over to the Parrot Head {link to the right} and checked me out yesterday. Like EVERYONE!!

My besties from way, way, WAY back came into town yesterday, so I  got behind on the Friday Fill-In's. 

Following Lauren {at} the little things we do ... Here's more insight into my mind... 

1.   My favorite daily responsibility is,   dinner with Callen, spoon feeding has helped me with my postpartum depression crap .

2.  My least favorite daily responsibility is,   shaving my legs, hence why it doesn't happen daily .

3.  My favorite cuisine to eat when going out is   "going out to eat" in and of itself is the favorite cusine. Good food and friends. A Southern Girl staple.

4.  My favorite cuisine to prepare at home is     Grill pockets - Meat. Potatoes, Veggies - always a corn on the cob, spices. Wrapped in a foil pocket. Put on the grill. Yuu-uum.

5.  Andy Warhol said that everyone is famous for 15 minutes. My claim to fame is   being born! Hello! Just Kidding. No fame here.

6.  If I could have 3 wishes I would wish   I had more time with my Daddy, I wasn't a worry-wort, and that I lived at Disney World.

7.  My biggest pet peeve is  waiting.  For emails. For calls. In line at the ATM. You name it. I peeve it. 

By the way... be sure you go to her blog... there is a HILARIOUS video at the end of her Fill-In!!!

Friday, April 15, 2011

Look at Me!

My super fabulous friend from college, Breann, has done an exposé on me.  She features other fabulous bloggers every Friday. I am fabulous blogger... Didn't you know?

Its called Friday Face.

Go see my face.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Purple Flats

I need some.
Recently I purchased these wedges.
thx google.
From Payless. Yea, I said it. Payless. I buy cheap shoes. How else can I support my habit?
Plus with all my animals, things get chewed on and peed on sometimes. I figure if they are going to destroy something It better be cheap, or else they might be banished to the crate.
On top of that, I change my mind a lot {you don't say!} and there is much less guilt involved in the number of shoes when their added value doesn't add up to more than my school loans.

I need some purple flats. In this shade of purple seen above. I am no opposed to some sparkle or some ruffle. I do not like pointy flats.

Any suggestions? {If your suggestion involved a pair of shoes that cost as much as my grocery bill, thats just NOT NICE!}

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Office Scavenger Hunt

Well.. Kinda...
I went around my office, to each space and found something weird or interesting to share. Whether each of these things mean something about that person's space - I will not tell.

What is this? NO ONE KNOWS....
First lets take a look at the closet we call a kitchen. It used to be a janitor's closet and we somehow managed to insert a water cooler, a full size fridge, a sink and side counter, mountains of soda boxes, a microwave, and a wall mounted phone server thingy.

Next we have the Receptionist's Desk.

Then Jeani's Office.                                    Then Troy's Office. He A Boss.
She's the Boss-Lady.                  
That's Dude. He's a giant.
Why yes, that is a bull testicle.

Then Jackie. Another Boss.                        Next is Nick. My Space-Mate.
That's our 'motto' in the background.
I never asked....

Then Me.                                                  Danny. Yet another Boss.
...but of course.
Was either this or his SI Calendar. 

Craig. Another Boss.                                Darrell. Project Manager.
M&M playing Sax in the back.
Trying to kick a diff. habit??

Joe. All Around Computer Guru.               Corey. He's away from his desk.
Dusty much?
Been there a few weeks.

Tiffany. Jill of all Trades.                         Buck. He's leaving soon.
Smile! {There's candy inside}
It WAS a Speckled Trout.

JD. He's Abroad.                                   Nichole. Corey is here right now. 
I'm jealous of his sunlight.
She's on Maternity Leave. Nuff said.

Brittani.  {Sniff Sniff}                     Scanner Room. Or as I like to call it - 
                                                                             Where things go to die.
She's telecommuting from New Mexico.
Do you see the scanner?
Conference Room. 
Giant Plasma TV. Check.
Did you see that all my bosses are MEN!

What can you find interesting around your office? 
Play along. It will be fun.                        

Monday, April 11, 2011

The Dark Side

No I don't mean Star Wars or one of Callen's meltdowns.... I mean Facebook.

I did it. I jumped in. Both feet. Now I'm drowning. In emails. In pictures. In memories. In comments. I'm quite overwhelmed. I forgot how big {extended} my family really was.

I have been successfully avoiding Facebook for many years now.  It all started in college, when it blew up, and I got my heart broken a few times at the sight of things I didn't want to know about - with a few guys. I was safer not knowing about the life he had moved on to or not seeing a picture of him with a girl at a place that I was also at {you know how that all goes}.  I also avoided it because I was sure that these social networks were just a way to avoid real face to face interaction with real people - therefore destroying the future generations ability to land a real job or have a real conversation. I was very forward thinking those days.  I have to say that, at one point, I felt the same way about texting. In more recent years, my aversion to the social network world was about maintaining my sanity and reaching a certain level of contentment.  I didn't want to be able to go out there and compare my life with others or see "what could have been." I knew this was not a healthy place for me.  There was also this little twinge of excitement over the idea of digital revenge - over what? I don't even know.

Sometimes My soapbox gets pretty worn out by all my "won't do's".  Sometimes I am real stubborn. I have a very difficult time going back on things that I said I'd never do or that I am "done with." {I'm in counseling now, remember?}

None the less...

These days, I am a pretty avid blogger, a more than avid texter, do alot of my fair share of chatting on yahoo/Gchat, we started video chatting with Google & Skype recently, I even took RSVP's for my wedding via custom webpage {I'm always dreaming up cool parties so I can use evites. I never follow through}.  I guess you could say I am pretty socially "online." So it was time to get off the soapbox, to let lose the reins of my stubbornness and accept defeat over my inability to say no any longer.

These are my new truths: {See I am a List Addict}

  • I no longer have the fears of having my heartbroken over seeing things I don't want to see.  Ryan has to be the best-est man ever - would never do anything to hurt me - not even in his DNA. 
  • I can't fix the ailments of the younger generations by boycotting Facebook. I don't control the world. {Whoda thunk it!}
  • I don't have time to talk to people. Even if I did, there'd be a baby crying in the background. Who wants to hear that? 
  • Looking at other people's lives shouldn't cause me pain. I will learn to let it go. Before I got pregnant I loved my life, and I am learning to do so again. Maybe a little comparison is what I need to kick myself in the pants.
  • I miss my friends and family - and apparently, emailing takes too long. Being able to talk to them, just through yahoo, gchat, and blogger has gotten me through diffucult times recently.  I need my village. 
  • I am too old, too tired, and too busy for revenge {whaa haa haa... had to sneak it in there}.
So it is done. Go be my friend. Go see my friends and family, they are the best!!

Friday, April 8, 2011

Friday Fill-In's

Normally I get these from Breann, but I beat her to it today... But check her out, she makes some yummy food and has a cute kid. She's the Parrot Head, look to your right for her button.

This time I went to Chloe who got it from Lauren. Lauren had a cool link-up thingy.  Go see them too!

1. Something that makes me a great friend is, I like to make people feel special by remembering little things about them and sometimes even using them for surprises.

2. I am a person who had Faith in God, a Wife, a Mama, an Interior Designer, and a Survivor of Life.

3. I am not good with loss.

4. If I had to describe myself in 3 words, they would be one of a kind {is that a nice way of saying weird}, organized, sassy.

5. Something I'm really cheap about is does not apply. I am FRUGAL. I love a good deal. 

6. Something I'm willing to splurge on is vacations. I would LIVE at Disneyworld if I could. 

7. I would trade anything, but my soul for my dad to be able to meet my son in a heartbeat. 

American Idol Broke My Heart!!

Don't have much time for this, it will be short and to the point. I am super swamped at work. But, I have something to say....

Callen and I {heart} American Idol.  We hang out and watch while he has his bedtime Milk Buddy. It's always from the DVR, so we don't necessarily watch it Live.  This will be the origin of the lesson I have learned...

I simply CANNOT believe that Pia got sent home! This is ridiculous!!!! I don't want to say bad things about other people, so I will not put into writing what I think about the ones I do not like, and don't think should have stayed over Pia.   Geeezz LaaaWeeezzzz!! Really America!? Are we that stupid! 

She is gorgeous, has a gorgeous voice and such a humble attitude!!

{We won't vote him off because of his singing ability, but because we don't want to look at ourselves in the mirror... Really?!? Are you kidding me?!?}

Some critics around my office say that maybe she got votes off because American Idol has mainly a female audience, at least its the females that vote and females are less likely to vote for another female who is so talented and so beautiful. 


I really hope she has a strong career ahead of her and go on to be a star, a ROLE MODEL FOR ALL THOSE FEMALES WHO WON'T VOTE FOR HER!!

Ok.. My lesson... 
Stop watching it after it's too late to vote, just because it doesn't fit in my evening routine that way.  Callen will just have to work around the Live show... we have priorities here... and picking the next American Idol OBVIOUSLY isn't going to happen correctly without my vote. =>