Monday, April 11, 2011

The Dark Side

No I don't mean Star Wars or one of Callen's meltdowns.... I mean Facebook.

I did it. I jumped in. Both feet. Now I'm drowning. In emails. In pictures. In memories. In comments. I'm quite overwhelmed. I forgot how big {extended} my family really was.

I have been successfully avoiding Facebook for many years now.  It all started in college, when it blew up, and I got my heart broken a few times at the sight of things I didn't want to know about - with a few guys. I was safer not knowing about the life he had moved on to or not seeing a picture of him with a girl at a place that I was also at {you know how that all goes}.  I also avoided it because I was sure that these social networks were just a way to avoid real face to face interaction with real people - therefore destroying the future generations ability to land a real job or have a real conversation. I was very forward thinking those days.  I have to say that, at one point, I felt the same way about texting. In more recent years, my aversion to the social network world was about maintaining my sanity and reaching a certain level of contentment.  I didn't want to be able to go out there and compare my life with others or see "what could have been." I knew this was not a healthy place for me.  There was also this little twinge of excitement over the idea of digital revenge - over what? I don't even know.

Sometimes My soapbox gets pretty worn out by all my "won't do's".  Sometimes I am real stubborn. I have a very difficult time going back on things that I said I'd never do or that I am "done with." {I'm in counseling now, remember?}

None the less...

These days, I am a pretty avid blogger, a more than avid texter, do alot of my fair share of chatting on yahoo/Gchat, we started video chatting with Google & Skype recently, I even took RSVP's for my wedding via custom webpage {I'm always dreaming up cool parties so I can use evites. I never follow through}.  I guess you could say I am pretty socially "online." So it was time to get off the soapbox, to let lose the reins of my stubbornness and accept defeat over my inability to say no any longer.

These are my new truths: {See I am a List Addict}

  • I no longer have the fears of having my heartbroken over seeing things I don't want to see.  Ryan has to be the best-est man ever - would never do anything to hurt me - not even in his DNA. 
  • I can't fix the ailments of the younger generations by boycotting Facebook. I don't control the world. {Whoda thunk it!}
  • I don't have time to talk to people. Even if I did, there'd be a baby crying in the background. Who wants to hear that? 
  • Looking at other people's lives shouldn't cause me pain. I will learn to let it go. Before I got pregnant I loved my life, and I am learning to do so again. Maybe a little comparison is what I need to kick myself in the pants.
  • I miss my friends and family - and apparently, emailing takes too long. Being able to talk to them, just through yahoo, gchat, and blogger has gotten me through diffucult times recently.  I need my village. 
  • I am too old, too tired, and too busy for revenge {whaa haa haa... had to sneak it in there}.
So it is done. Go be my friend. Go see my friends and family, they are the best!!

2 comments:

  1. So excited to have you on! Download Trillion at work and you can have your FB chat on all day too ;)

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  2. i'm sorry you had to do something you said you'd never do... but i'm so glad you did :)

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