AND IT'S COMMENT LOVE DAY @ FTLOB!
This is my first. Still struggling with PPD some, so it's been a hard weekend. Well, after the week I had with no sleep, no wonder I've struggled.
Love my Callen. Don't love life changes. That's where I am.
Here's the backstory.
That's my mom up there. She died when I was {9}, on Mother's Day, 1991. Sucky, Huh? {I always wondered what kind of cosmic joke that was supposed to be.} I've always known that things happen for a reason, and I am just tasked with finding out the lesson.
It was not some freak accident, she was not sick. They were out partying and made some poor choices. That's all. It happens. I've never held any animosity towards anyone, for anything. {If you are reading this, know that God chose what would ultimately happen that morning. It is what it is. I love you.}
Sure. I wish I had more of my life to share with her, but I wouldn't be there person I am, if things hadn't gone this way. It may be an ugly thing to say, in some people's eyes, but that's how I grieve.
I spent the rest of my childhood and teenage years with my Dad. Times that I go grieve, as he died {2} summers ago. Story for another post.
Having my own child, having my own Mother's day, has officially made the switch for me, from the Kids Table to the Grown Up table.
So here I go, setting my place, filling my plate, for the Grown Up table.
Then.
Of to DisneyWorld. So I escape to the Kids Table for awhile.
Paula JoAnn Rankin Tanner
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| My Mama & Me! |
Love my Callen. Don't love life changes. That's where I am.
Here's the backstory.
That's my mom up there. She died when I was {9}, on Mother's Day, 1991. Sucky, Huh? {I always wondered what kind of cosmic joke that was supposed to be.} I've always known that things happen for a reason, and I am just tasked with finding out the lesson.
It was not some freak accident, she was not sick. They were out partying and made some poor choices. That's all. It happens. I've never held any animosity towards anyone, for anything. {If you are reading this, know that God chose what would ultimately happen that morning. It is what it is. I love you.}
Sure. I wish I had more of my life to share with her, but I wouldn't be there person I am, if things hadn't gone this way. It may be an ugly thing to say, in some people's eyes, but that's how I grieve.
I spent the rest of my childhood and teenage years with my Dad. Times that I go grieve, as he died {2} summers ago. Story for another post.
Having my own child, having my own Mother's day, has officially made the switch for me, from the Kids Table to the Grown Up table.
So here I go, setting my place, filling my plate, for the Grown Up table.
Then.
Of to DisneyWorld. So I escape to the Kids Table for awhile.
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| I got this, because she had one, but in another location. Very Prison Break-esque. |
Wow, honey. This is really a deep post. My heart goes out to you, really. Happy mother's day, okay?
ReplyDeleteFeel free to take that "Tough Mom Award" I posted over on my blog, because you really are a tough one!
And Water For Elephants? Definately wonderful. You NEED to go see it [in fact, have your husband read this].
MR. DEWITT! TAKE YOUR WIFE TO GO SEE WATER FOR ELEPHANTS, OR HER LIFE WILL BE OVER.
=] Happy Mother's day.
Jessica - As someone who has text/chatted/talked/emailed through both our PPD moments, I want you to have a wonderful Mother's day. I can't wait to see you when you come to Houston. We will drink wine, giggle, and drink more wine. *hug* Love ya.
ReplyDeleteVisiting from comment love. I hope your Mother's Day exceeded your expectations. Don't know what else to say...
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day! And your tattoo is awesome, a very sweet tribute to your mother.
ReplyDeleteAnd feel free to use the "Things I'm Grateful For" page - maybe you'll be better at updating yours than I am with mine! :)
Thanks for sharing something so very personal with us. I don't know what to say, but I'm sending a big {{hug}} your way. By the way, I seem a lot of similarities in the way your mom is looking about you in the above picture and the way you are looking at Callen in the "Mama Sugars" above (I see lots of love).
ReplyDelete