Friday, June 10, 2011

I Got the Blues.... The Broke A$$ Blues

I'm sharing with you deep down deep personal information here....  I make mistakes!

I sit here, sippin' from my new coffee cup, pondering over the phenomenal financial mistakes I made over the past week or so.  I bought it new, from teh Disney Store in Chicago.  I have a shopping problem.  I have a Disney addiction.  I DID just mention that I'm sharing personal financial mistakes with you? Yea. I thought so.  But isn't it a fabulous cup?

It says, "It's a green world after all."

OK on to the bad stuff.  Many people know me as a very organized person.  Which I am.  Motherhood had tested me on these skills.  Time IS NOT on my side.  I make mistakes when my brain is going a million miles a minute and sometimes even round and round like a Merry-go-Round.

I AM the original Excel-A-Master. You hadn't heard? Here's the proof.

This is a screen shot of our yearly budget. 
This is a screen shot of Ryan's yearly Martial Arts budget.  I am Wife of the Year for this. 
These sheet all calculate back and forth to about 4 others.  I got it all under control.

Here's where it all went wrong:  
I had three months off work, unpaid, where I continued to rack up hospital bills and buy baby crap.  I did get some Aflac checks {they are DA BOMB}.   I blew through We used our savings and the Aflac money shop, shop, shopping away to continue to live whilst I was tortured by our new baby.   This resulted in more shopping and eat out. OH My OH MY the eating out. 

I started back to work, with a clean slate, ready to get back on track and build the savings back up.   The tortured continued by my screaming and crying sweet, sweet new baby.   Mama decided she needed some time away with Aunti Brittani.  So last week, I did just that. 

Here's were it REALLY went wrong.
Somehow, by the time the trip came about, there was no "extra" money to take said trip.  Tickets were bought, hotels were booked, flights were reserved, Mama was going!  I survived. {And bought a few things. I realize the problem. Don't judge.}

Saturday, while I was sitting at the Chicago Aquarium, about to watch the dolphins WOW me with their wonders, I get an email from Travelocity that says, "How was your flight?"  Huh....?  I haven't flown yet..?
Quickly go through inbox to find confirmation. SONOFABITCH!!!  I bought a flight for Friday night instead of Saturday night.  These are not the type of mistakes I normally make.  It's the Mama brain, I swear. Things are always swirly around in my head and I don't always make it back around to where I'm supposed to be.  None the less, I swiftly go to Travelocity and find and purchase another flight.  For the SAME time, CORRECT evening.  {Because I think if I do this, I won't have to tell Ryan. We'll get to this}  I go back to watching the Dolphins. Thank GOD for Andriod! Let's just say, "a few hundred dollars" down the drain. {I just threw up a little in my mouth.}

I sit down with Ryan and Callen to watch TV and schedule all the bills to pay on my fabulous BofAm Online Bill Pay.  {Heart} it, Mucho.  I keep telling Ryan that I need to focus this is 'serious business.' He says, "Ok, whatever.'  He doesn't pay the bills, he can say this.  I usually sit down just twice a month and schedule payments, transfers, etc. all the appropriate dates depending on when they are due and when our paychecks direct deposit.  I finish.  Check that box.  Relax for the evening.

Skip to Tues.
Check the bank, as I do every morning.  WTF!  Colossal Mistake.  Why is that read number so big!?! What the HELL happened.  I see what happened.  The Swirly Ice Cream Cone that is MY BRAIN scheduled the Mortgage payment for Tuesday, instead of Friday {when Ryan's check goes through}.  I did mention previously that our savings was depleted while being off work? Yes? I scramble to transfer what we have from three other accounts to cover.  Not enough.  No more back up available.  HOW EMBARRASSING  HOW STUPID!  I get on the "Chat Online with a Representative," like PRONTO!  After some explanation and begging to postpone an Online Bill Pay that is already processing, I find out this is not possible for an electronic payment. CURSE YOU ONLINE BILL PAY!!  Then I bed for them not to charge me fees {I spare her the swirly cone explanation}.  She says, "Kindly be aware that your account is $xxx.xx overdrawn. You will be charged fees." NO SHIT! REALLY? I DIDN'T SEE THAT!  I scream at the top of my lungs for all the office to hear I quietly sob to myself.   I sit and watch my account rack up EFFING fees.   Embarrassed. Angry.  Have yet to tell Ryan what has happened.  I mean, he trusts me to "take care of it." OH, I TOOK CARE OF IT ALRIGHT! Straight into the CRAPPER!

Thursday. {Oh... It continues}
The Boss-Lady {who does the bookkeeping} is headed out for vacation so she's doing next weeks pay today.  'Kindly' informs me that last weeks days off {to have fun with Aunti Brit spending money I shouldn't have} will be UNPAID.  WTF!?  I thought I was salary?  How can this be?  Doesn't she just balance it all out in the end?  Don't they always say "It will come out in the wash?" How can she do this to me, doesn't she know I just took us to the cleaners with all this OTHER SHIT I've just done!!  I go back to my desk, have a bit of a freakout, then go back to her office.  Ask her what's happened.  She informs me that she JUST realized that she needed to 'rest' my work anniversary to July due to my maternity leave.  JUST REALIZED?! Perhaps she might have realized this when I submitted for the time off?  And told me then?!?  Then she tells me that this also means that time I need off next week to go to Houston for Probate Court is also UNPAID.  Wholly Crap!! Thats half my check, GONE!  Then I ask her if she can't just borrow from my future PTO for this.. she says "Well, I just faxed it in.  It's too late."  I think, just maybe, she should have initiated this conversation with me BEFORE she sent the fax.  More screaming out loud sobbing to myself ensues.  I try to tell her that I simply cannot have unpaid time for next weeks time of, she says its on another check it would be ok.  I briefly tell her the mistakes I made recently and how I need that check to be as BIG as possible.   She says I should have told her, she would have given me a pay advance.  SURE.. tell the people who pay me that I don't know how to manage my money!! Which I DO, but I'm not doing so swell this go 'round.  MORE EMBARRASSMENT.

So here I am.  I have no savings to speak of.  Used Ryan's Martial Arts 'set-aisde' to cover my ass.  Have purchased TWO plane tickets from Chicago OHare to Dallas/FtWorth.  While all the bills are paid this check, I have embarrassed myself fully.  Have to tell Ryan what I've done {BTW, he shrugs his shoulders and says "I'm sure you will figure it out." Wow.}  No matter how much you make, how many raises you get, how much commission you earn, or how organized you are, MISTAKES STILL HURT!




  1. I have been there before, it sucks. Maybe next time make sure you are in another room while Ryan watches the baby so you can really concentrate. I am sure you will never do it again!

  2. aaaahhhh i have never had a savings account or budget we're pay check to pay check, could be worse love... i don't even own a car lol

    Nice to meet ya, new follower via the hop!!

  3. You LOOK like the original Excel Master :D That's a hard position to be in, but you'll definitely make it through :D The Coffee Cup makes everything better, no?

  4. Oh Jess, I'm so sorry that our trip cuased so much anxiety. I had the greatest time, and I hope in a year or two we can just laugh at that ticket thing. Glad Ryan took it well. Wish the paycheck thing worked out differently. I'm sending you giant you!